Grand Total:

Ten inches.

I have no curse words strong enough.

Sunshine State, My Ass

It's snowing. Again. As in "four inches on the ground still coming down like a bitch" snowing.

Of all the places my parents could have moved after Mom graduated college, why South Dakota? Why a place where we have whiteout conditions in town on April 25? Bah.

On the bright side, I enjoy watching Hummers think they're almighty and above winter driving conditions--only to spin out in the middle of intersections. Jerk pain makes me laugh.

Lazy Girl's Guide to Beauty, Pt. 2

I must confess that I feel terribly accomplished when my socks match my underwear.

Another Shuffleomancy

1. What is my best friend's theme song?
Attagirl - Bettie Serveert. "Don't get stuck somewhere in the middle. You paid all your dues, and you're not on second fiddle. Don't say luck is something like a riddle. You paid for your place in this world--attagirl!"

2. College is...
One Foot in Front of the Other - Bright Eyes. "I'm drinking the ink from my pen, and I'm balancing history books up on my head...you'll be free, child, once you have died, from the shackles of language and measurable time."

3. I am...
That Time - Regina Spektor. "Hey, remember that time when my favorite colors was pink and green?"

4. How is today?
Have a Little Faith in Me - Mandy Moore. "When the road gets dark, and you can no longer see, just let my love throw a spark, and have a little faith in me."

5. What is in store for this week?
Do It Alone - Sugarcult. "Can I say that there's something wrong with this place?"

6. What song best describes my parents?
Until I Believe in My Soul - Dexy’s Midnight Runners. "I'll take some strength to banish hollow sorrow. Hollow sorrow's nothing new. Just enough strength to last until tomorrow till I believe in my soul, till I believe in my soul."

7. How is my life going?
Vacuum Bag - Stroke 9. "Maybe I'll never get it. I just don't think I'm like that--don't like planning stuff out. It never happens that way."

8. What song will they play at my funeral?
There She Goes Again - the Velvet Underground. "Now take a look: there's no tears in her eyes. Like a bird, you know she would fly. What can you do?"

9. How does the world see me?
Jenny, You’re Barely Alive - Rilo Kiley. "You're desperate in finding something else to please you. You've been searching your whole life. Something to mute, change, or just distract you, something to put inside you to give the illusion of life 'cos you've always been barely alive."

10. My friends think...
Walking with a Ghost - Tegan and Sara. "I was walking with a ghost. I said, 'Please, please don't insist.'"

11. My life is lived...
Baby, Just Be Yourself - the Pipettes. "Forgive him now and you'll forgive your heart for wasting any time."

12. This makes me happy...
Take it Easy (Love Nothing) - Bright Eyes. "Now they are spreading out the blankets on the beach. That weatherman is a liar. He said it would be raining but it's clear and blue as far as I can see."

13. What should I do with my life?
Just Another - Pete Yorn. "You said that I should get away from it all and bury my head in the sand if I want to."

14. I will be happy when...
The Man Who Came to Stay - Babyshambles. "There's a man who came to stay. The boy he replaced disappeared without a trace."

15. What is some good advice?
Stay Together for the Kids - Blink 182. Self-explanatory, no?

16. What do I think my current theme song is?
Rock and Roll Queen - the Subways. Hehe, "You are so cool. You are so rock and roll. Be my, be my, be my little rock and roll queen."

17. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Another One Goes By - the Walkmen. Aww. "I walk outside and try to see you right in front of me, sillhouette of something sweet and so bright."

18. The kind of guys I like are:
Imagine - John Lennon. "Imagine all the people living for today...Imagine all the people living life in peace...Imagine all the people sharing all the world."

19. How will you feel on your wedding day?
Better - Regina Spektor. Aww, but..."If I kiss you where it's sore, will you feel better, better, better? Will you feel anything at all?"

20. What should I do with my love life?
Little Black Backpack - Stroke 9. "You're trying to find a reason for the way you feel tonight. Your mind is lined with layers of lead. Have you heard one thing that I've said?"

21. What will your neighborhood be like?
Fountain - Laura Binkley. "Took off my shoes to dance in the fountain, but the fountain was as empty and dry as the moon."

22. What will your dying words be?
Field Below - Regina Spektor. Yes. "I wish I could see a field below. I wish I could hear a rooster crow...I wish I could see your face below. I wish I could hear you whispering low, but you don't live downtown no more, and everything must come and go...I'm awake to feel the ache. I wish I could see a field below."

The Lazy Girl's Guide to Beauty

Tip: When dressing for formal events in the winter, always wear tights. Under skirts, they will keep you warm. Under pants, well, it's a hell of a lot easier than trying to find a pair of matching socks.

Vinaigrette Vignette

I felt like a complete ass the day I realized that, for my entire life, I've been saying "basalmic." I stood in the aisle, staring at a glass bottle of dressing, knowing that I have been able to correctly spell this word for years. Yet I've been saying "basalmic."

As an ex-waitress, childhood spelling bee champ, and a self-confessed Grammar Bitch, I was ashamed of myself.

Then I remembered that "for my entire life" actually means "two or three times," and I felt a little better.

Not for the Faint of Heart

Over Easter, I opened up one of my uncle's photo albums and suddenly, shockingly, found myself staring at a dead woman. He had taken photographs of his aunt's body at her funeral. Like Nicole Kidman in The Others, I thought this was incredibly eerie and odd.

In that vein, I think I understood how he felt about those photographs when I found this exhibition. It's a collection of photographs of terminally ill people just before and after they died. Worst/best of all, the captions come from interviews with them about their impending deaths. It's difficult to look at, but if you're in an appropriately somber mood, you might find it...cathartic, almost. I don't know; I cried.

Just be careful. Don't look if you don't think you can. I think it's an important and beautiful work of art.