I have a lack of interesting post ideas. So...

Our school issues AHS assignment books every year. For the last two years, I have kept a "Quote of the Day" feature in mine. The quotes come from music, movies, and books, but most often, they come from actual conversations. Christmas break is boring, so I went through and picked out all the quotes that are Allison originals. Here's a few (well, seventeen) of my favorites:

- “Join German class. Then you can talk to Hitler!” -- At the time, German was the only foreign language offered here at AHS. This was my argument that learning German was pointless.

- "I am not a skinny albino!" -- My friend Rachel accused me of being a skinny albino.

- "Damn you, Cheerios!" -- There was a long trail of Cheerios on the sidewalk in front of our school, and I was methodically stamping on each of them. For some reason I had a vendetta against breakfast cereal that day.

- "Never was on time/Oh, you stupid mime." -- This was my attempt at interpreting the slurred lyrics of an early bootleg copy of the Strokes' song "Meet Me in the Bathroom."

- "Nothing rhymes with equilibrium." -- A line from a poem I had to write as a biology assignment (what kind of assignment is "Write a poem about cell structure" anyway?).

- "The word 'verb' is a noun." -- The revelation that changed my entire worldview.

- "Staplers are not for human consumption." -- Sage advice.

- "Stop talking to me in Norwegian, snail!" -- For a time, I was obsessed with foreign tetris websites (they were the only ones that our school's firewall couldn't block). This particular comment comes from this.

- "Fuckel you." -- I had to do a report on a fungus. I chose the orange-peel fungus...also known as fuckel. There's nothing better than using the term "fuckel" in an oral report for your very naive bio teacher.

- "Actions speak louder than words, especially if you're a mime." -- Allison writes proverbs.

- "I've got a dog, just like Dorfy. I'm being Dorfy Allison." -- My father insists that I used to carry around a stuffed puppy and say this. I was three and was massively obsessed with The Wizard of Oz. Also, I had diction problems.

- "Weevils, they wovvle, but they don't fall down!" -- Yeah, I'm a moron.

- "'Furniture' is kind of a funny word because it has a 't' but the 't' makes a 'ch' sound." -- I'm also very deep.

- “El páncreas! Dónde está el buzón?” -- For many eons this was pretty much the only Spanish I knew. For the record, it translates to, "The pancreas! Where is the mailbox?"

- "Silence, you walking genetic flaw! What cruel jest of nature are you?" -- Insults Incorporated.

- "British people have this bizarre obsession with guys in drag. British people are weird, man." -- What I learned from Monty Python.

- "Buggiwugs...I would like...to smash 'em!" -- Going crazy during Algebra II. There were gnats everywhere, and I was in a Clockwork Orange mood.