Warning: I really love parentheses.

Before I forget, I present (hardy har har har):

The Haul
- stuffed lion that sneezes when you squeeze its ear - Cal
- Eight Men Out DVD (John Cusack...salivate) - Dad
- Pez and Exmas Pez dispenser - Santa (cheap bastard)
- Rubik's Cube (I'm going to paint all the sides white) - Dad
- glass chess set - Dad (he was really proud of himself because it only cost him $5.77)
- giant Hershey bar - Mom ("You're hard to buy for." "Prepositions, Mom! Honestly.")
- Birdy DVD - Jessie ("You wanted the Cage movie about the fucking bird guy, right?")
- Sonia Kashuk freesia lotion - brother (I had to wrap it myself. "I spent 10 bucks on girly crap. Pretend you like it.")
- makeup that will no doubt go unused - Mom ("Hint, hint." "Nudge-nudge?")
- bobblehead Sumo wrestlers (fuck yeah!) - Dad
- Hulk fleece blanket - Mom ("You're...strange. You really like that?")
- squeaky stuffed Hulk - Mom ("I just followed the list. I don't know why anyone would want that.")
- Michael Graves Lexmark printer - Dad ("I got that on clearance at Target! See, I left the tag on it! How's that for bargain shopping?")
- Atari 10-in-1 joystick - Santa


I got the Atari thing. Now I can die happy.