"Candy is food for the soul. Well, actually, it's food for the stomach, but you're not listening to me anyway."
"...What?"

That's what I get for trying to converse with my own friends.

Also, this is the phone call I fielded Friday night:

"Thank you for choosing Corporate Pizza Joint. My name is Allison. I'm sorry, but we're closed."
"How long's it take for delivery?"
"I'm sorry, sir, but we're closed."
"What? When did you close?"
"Midnight--about half an hour ago."
"Then why did you answer the phone?"
"Store policy, sir. We always answer."
"Well, you fucked up. Fuck you!"