Wow. It's been an interesting couple of days.

I was chastised by our principal yesterday for jumping across a stool in the commons area, so I wrote "If it's fun, it's against the rules--AHS Policy" on the board in the band room. The director looked at it, shrugged, and told me, "Well, it's peaceful protest," and left it up.

The whole election thing is tearing the school apart. The girl with the locker next to mine has a Thune sign on it, so, to be lighthearted, I put up a sign reading: "John Thune Eats Babies."

The message spread like wildfire. I had 5 or 10 people come up to me and tell me they loved the sign, and a few even told me that it changed their votes in the mock election (Daschle won; go me).

Today, someone ripped it down. Slightly incensed (but more amused), I put up a new sign: "John Thune STILL Eats Babies." For good measure, I also taped up a copy of the First Amendment.

Two periods later, I got called into the principal's office. She brandishes the posters in my face and barks, "This is unacceptable!" She rants awhile, but calms down considerably when she pauses long enough for me to explain that I didn't know that she had ripped the first sign down.

"What, you thought a student did it?"

I didn't pull any punches. "I assumed so. I considered the possiblity that you did it, but I honestly thought that you'd have more respect for your students than to do that. I thought you would have approached me and asked me to take it down, which I would have done without any argument."

She told me that she "wasn't going to take a student out of class because of a locker sign," and I refrained from pointing out that she sees me in the halls four times a day and knows exactly where I'll be during free period and lunch (the commons). She then informed me that she "wasn't singling [me] out" and that she had removed two other locker signs. I pointed out that neither of the other two had been political signs; the girl next to me had been allowed to keep hers.

She responded, "Well, if you had just put up a Daschle sign, that would have been fine, but this is offensive." She waved the Thune sign. "I was offended. Do you understand why I was offended?"

"No, I don't," I admitted. Feeling daring, I added, "I said Thune ate babies. It's not like I said he was a pedophile. Saying that Thune eats babies is such a ludicrous accusation that it's obvious that it's a joke. It's even a joke that's been done before; ask Jonathan Swift. It was humor; the girl with the Thune sign even thought it was funny. I've had a lot of people tell me it made them laugh. The election has made everything really tense, and I thought the sign was an obvious attempt to inject some comedy into the atmosphere. It's parody, and parody is protected; it's The People Versus Larry Flynt."

She countered, "So maybe the students didn't mind. Well, what if some little 75-year-old lady had seen this and gotten offended?"

Treading carefully, I responded, "That's her right, but it's also my right to offend her, just like it's your right to take down the sign. There wouldn't have been a problem if you had just notified me that the sign needed to be removed. Your choice to take it down without my knowledge and then to assume that I was directly challenging you by replacing it is why I'm here."

She got all huffy, and her voice dripped with sarcasm. "Look, honey, I didn't even know it was your locker when I took it down."

This pissed me off, and I couldn't help but ask, "Despite the giant SENIORS: ALLISON sign right under it."

Touché. She fumbled before picking up the First Amendment again. "Well, you don't have the same rights inside the school building as you do outside it."

"I understand that."

She waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, I added, "But I'm not going to apologize. I don't think I've done anything wrong."

She paused, then acknowledged, "You haven't done anything wrong, maybe. But do you understand why I took it down?"

"I'm not arguing with your decision; I just don't think you went about it the right way. I understand, but I'm not going to agree. I'm not going to apologize because it would be insincere. I'm not going to agree because it would be a lie, and I don't want to sit here and patronize you."

(I don't know if she caught it, but this was a direct attack on her. She is the Queen of Patronizing. We've argued about it before; I maintain that an authority figure should never use a false term of endearment, as it is the most condescending thing imaginable.)

Finally, she backed down. "Well, I just don't want this to be a big deal. I'm not here to punish you, and I'm not going to do that. I just don't want this to be a big deal."

Realizing that she didn't want me to repeat the story and tell how she had to back down from punishing me, I got irritated. "I'm in your office. This has to be a big deal. You've made it a big deal."

"You've been in my office for other things, and those were all good things," she replied. "I just don't want this incident to change the way you think of the school and the administration."

I didn't say anything for a long time. Finally, I looked at her, and I murmured, "I already told you I wasn't going to lie to you." I thought, You have lost the single ounce of respect I ever had for you.

"Honey, I don't want you to think differently of us."

"But I do."

"But do you understand why I had to do it?"

"I've been saying this for 15 minutes. I understand, but I don't agree, and I won't apologize."

She didn't say anything, so I got up. "I would like to leave now."

"Okay."

"Thank you," I said as I opened the door.

She remained seated. "Thank you, Allison." As I left, she called, "You can leave it open on your way out."

So now I'm sitting here, typing this up so that I don't forget the story. Believe me, everyone in school is going to hear about this juicy little tidbit; that's for sure. To all those who joked with me about my disdain for authority: you ain't seen nothin' yet.

I'm sitting here crafting rubberband bracelets with three words on them: KNOW YOUR RIGHTS.

It's not disrespect; it's defiance.