Jesus Still Likes Me, I Swear

Hap-hap-happy! Is there any Dem in the country who's not wriggling around like an excited puppy right about now? (Yes, this post is a day late. So shoot me.)

Anyway, in SoDak news, not only are we liberals happy about federal victories, but the abortion ban was decisively struck down, as well. I've never seen so many depressed fundamentalists.

I worked the "No on 6" (which is to say, the "repeal the abortion ban") booth in the Student Union on Tuesday. The "Yes for Life" campaign's booth was conspicuously absent. At one point, however, a couple of yessers walked past us in their free t-shirts (illegally funded by a state senator). and sprinkled holy water along the floor in front of us.

I hadn't noticed this happening; I had been speaking to a documentary filmmaker and wasn't paying attention to the silly yessers. However, one of the girls in charge of the No campaign was a few feet away, and she immediately ran up to the table. "Did they just sprinkle holy water on you?"

"What?"

"Fucking holy water. They just sprinkled holy water on you guys."

"Really? Oh." At that point, I absentmindedly crossed myself, and the girl in charge balked, stared at me for a second, and then finally burst out laughing. Somebody else talked to the student union manager, and we were promised retribution if the yessers returned and did anything of the sort again (which they didn't--they had run away already for fear of any consequences to their silly action).

One of the filmmakers asked us how we felt about the incident, and we all weighed in. My contribution was, "I'm kind of hurt...it's obviously trying to imply that I don't believe in God and that I'm a sinner who needs to be purified just because I disagree with them....Damn, I wish I had a direct conduit to God. It would be so much easier if I could be that sure that he agreed with me and wanted me to use his symbols against all people who dared to disbelieve my opinions." I was the only non-agnostic/atheist person at the booth that day (or at least the only vocal one), so I felt the need to establish that religion and opposition of the abortion ban aren't mutually exclusive. Which is an obvious idea, but hey.

So, anyway, yesterday I went out and got a celebratory abortion.

By the way, I came up with my favorite offensive retort of all time, and this exchange allowed me to finally use it:
"Why would anybody be pro-choice? What's wrong with you?" This was spoken by a decidedly fratboy-looking gentleman.
"Actually, I'm kind of suprised you're not. After all, an abortion is a hell of a lot cheaper than eighteen years of child support for the kid you're not going to raise."