Cat Lady

Miss Warszawa (Zowie) Bowie would like to inform the jury that:
- Asparagus ferns are lovely to chew on despite all the Human Roommate's worries about its toxicity.
- In addition, the mother of thousands seedlings from Madagascar, courtesy of the Human Roommate's biology professor, are great fun to pull out of their pots. Extra points for scattering potting soil around as much of the kitchen as possible.
- Thirdly, it is perfectly acceptable to stick your entire face in a bowl of macaroni and cheese if the H.R. is not looking.
- Garbage cans are, in fact, toys.
- Knocking over picture frames is the best way to spend one's time.
- Stoves are best jumped onto when at least one electric burner is bright red.
- If anyone opens the refrigerator door, it is absolutely necessary to run through the house and jump inside.
- All dignified lady cats scatter food pellets absolutely everywhere.

Mister Robert (Bob) Lulu would like to add:
- Miss Warzawa (Zowie) Bowie is stupid and not worthy of cuddles.
- All other mammals in the house are worthy of as many cuddles as possible.
- If a toddler visits, the best way to make him feel at home is to rub your face against his and eat his Goldfish crackers.
- Allison, Dearest Most Wonderful Mother Supreme, is no longer allowed to throw away any cardboard boxes, a.k.a. Awesome Toys and Good Places From Which to Pounce on Zowie.
- The top of the refrigerator is fun! It's got lots of cool stuff to knock down!
- Roger the Giant Teddy Bear is now the sole property of Mister Robert (Bob) Lulu, and shall be used henceforth for kneading and suckling purposes. This is very macho. As is the middle name Lulu.
- Incessant cuddles are not annoying at all. Ever.