The magician at the assembly today was, indeed, a hack. He had his stage patter polished to perfection, but he only did about five tricks. The tricks he did do were totally unimpressive. I watched his hands, and I could see him thumbing cards. Worse, he did a trick that involved making a blank coloring book get colored, and you could see him flip the book over as he did the trick. I'm sorry, but if you're going to make a living at sleight of hand, you should at least be good at it. The school paid for a magician, and they got a bad comedian.

Breaking news (horrible pun totally intended): Barbie and Ken are breaking up. Such a tragedy. I don't know; maybe I'd be a little more horrified if I'd been a Barbie kid. I was never really into dolls.

I don't really have much to say. Today I feel: worthless. I'm tired. Maybe I'll go to bed.