Correction: I just listened to both "You Can't Stop the Beat" and "Material Girl," and I can only conclude that I am either crazy or hallucinating. The chord progressions are similar in the verses, but I definitely overexaggerated by using the term "identical." Blame it on sugar highs. This correction is offered of my own free will. Neither Peter Brown nor Robert Rams is holding a pistol to my head at this very moment.

Pistol, nope. Shotgun, though; well, I'm not going to confirm or deny that...