Holy crap. Don't worry, I'll spare you the Amish rants this eve.

Today was quite uneventful. I dubbed Chantel Greasemonkey, much to her delight, and Cal has become Groovemeister, much to her bewilderment. Everybody needs a new nickname once in awhile, or I'll get bored. Sarah begged for a new one, and I delivered, albeit halfheartedly. She has become Fascist Lemur, which conveniently and indirectly shortens to Flash. We mustn't let the lemurs take control.

To paraphrase Ali G, "What's the funniest animal? It's lemurs, innit?"

Chantel has dubbed me her "shoe fashion maven." Ha. Take that, Vogue. The fashion world is in serious trouble when I'm a maven. Chantel's a big fan of my Vans, rhyme not intended. This makes me want to burst into "Vans Song," but frankly, I'm kinda sleepy.

Played pep band tonight. Received the following instructions verbatim from Band Dude: "Unless directed otherwise, play a rock beat. You suck, you stupid dumbass." So I have learned that it is possible for "Land of a Thousand Dances," "Celebration," "Smoke on the Water," and "Mony Mony" to meld into the same song. I don't know why I bother to show up to these things; a trained monkey could play the drumbeat.

I think the only post-1980 songs in our entire repertoire are "Another One Bites the Dust" and "We Got the Beat." Last year we played "Workin' in a Coal Mine" (the Devo version, according to the music), but Band Dude has trashed it because he is a big dumb pasty band guy.

Mmph. As I said earlier, uneventful. Got a lot of knitting done. During physics, Brandon (that's my little ex-Hutterite friend) demanded to know what I was knitting. "I don't know. Nothing, really," was the answer, to which he replied, "It better be a scarf for me." So, yeah. Apparently I'm knitting a pale grey scarf for Brandon.