Awright, awright, questions:

1) The active ingredients in Rolaids are magnesium and calcium. Which one makes your stomach stop hurting?

2) Why does my stomach hurt?

3) Is it bad that I took the ACT today and thought it was laughably easy?

4) Is it weird that I'd be perfectly willing to pop cherry Rolaids like candy?

5) What are those two little muscle-line-things that cut inward on a well-built guy's hips?

6) Why do I find those little muscle-line-things insanely attractive?

7) Why did one of my best guy friends have to take off his shirt and be all ridiculously physically attractive?

8) Why can't I skip rocks properly at the lake?

9) How scary is it that I was out past the statewide curfew and got stopped for a random sobriety check and the cop didn't even ask how old I was?

10) Seriously, man, did it look like I'd been drinking?

11) When it all falls down, who you gonna call now?