Last night, your very sleepy and extremely caffeine-deprived reporter made a discovery. Namely, I have unveiled what could quite possibly be "The Most Entertaining Thing to Spend Five Minutes of a Friday Night in a Crowded House Doing."

1. Play the classically awful Bread song, "Baby I'm-A Want You."
2. Turn it way up.
3. Sing along, making up the lyrics as you go.
4. Dance, too. You can use any dance, but one in which you bob your head like a pigeon and waddle around like a penguin works best. The Piguin, if you will. Or perhaps the Pengeon, whichever you prefer.
4. Walk/dance up to someone you know.
5. Loudly declare, "I'm-a poke you in the heeeeead," in a voice that approximates a mix between a Southern drawl and any character from one of Finesse Mitchell's angry-black-women bits on Saturday Night Live.
6. Make good on your threat.

Trust me, it's a lot more fun than it sounds. Try it, you'll like it. (Hey, Mikey!) Sorry, random acts of pop culture.