This didn't fit in with the last post, so I saved it for a new one.

I am terrified of nutcrackers. I hate them. This would explain why I stalked Jessie through the blender aisle of Target, clicking this really creepy nutcracker guy's mouth and saying (in my best James Earl Jones voice), "I am going to eeeeeat...yooooour...SOULLLLLLL..."

I also hate china dolls, monkeys, clowns, and especially mannequins. I hate anything that's anthropomorphic to that degree.

This car-dealership owner in town donated twenty eighteen-inch china nun dolls to our church. I was okay with it when we had them in the parish hall, but one Sunday we go to Mass, and the little nuns were everywhere. In front of the altar, around the pulpit, in the windows...I was seriously disturbed. It was like "Attack of the Midget Nuns." Fortunately, they were back in their padlocked case by the next week. I seriously might have gone crazy otherwise.

Someday I'll tell you my other stories about this particular fear. I know it's kind of weird, but I just find anthropomorphic things scary. (Did I mention that my father was killed by a clown? I'm lying; that particular phobia stems from repeated childhood viewings of Pee-Wee's Big Adventure.) Goodnight.