I'm stuck.
I feel like I'm choking. The air in my house is heavy with some kind of familial ties, but they just don't reach to me. I'm detached. I feel alone up here in the far room, and that's how I like it. Sometimes I think I could move away and never see my family again...sometimes I think that I wouldn't mind that at all.
This won't make any sense, but I've gotten to feeling like I'm a vinyl record. Somehow I just see myself that way. It's like I keep trying to pick up the needle and clean it off, but the needle's stuck in the same groove, playing the same song, over and over and over. The needle just drags around the record, collecting dust, wearing out that single groove. I'm afraid that the needle will wear straight through the vinyl.
Someone asked me if I was afraid to die. I'm not. Don't get me wrong; I don't want to die. I just think that I could do it. I don't want to die for a long time though...I think I've got something to prove yet.
I feel like I'm choking. The air in my house is heavy with some kind of familial ties, but they just don't reach to me. I'm detached. I feel alone up here in the far room, and that's how I like it. Sometimes I think I could move away and never see my family again...sometimes I think that I wouldn't mind that at all.
This won't make any sense, but I've gotten to feeling like I'm a vinyl record. Somehow I just see myself that way. It's like I keep trying to pick up the needle and clean it off, but the needle's stuck in the same groove, playing the same song, over and over and over. The needle just drags around the record, collecting dust, wearing out that single groove. I'm afraid that the needle will wear straight through the vinyl.
Someone asked me if I was afraid to die. I'm not. Don't get me wrong; I don't want to die. I just think that I could do it. I don't want to die for a long time though...I think I've got something to prove yet.
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