tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60092082011-12-03T14:56:30.685-06:00I AM SCYLLA THE ROCK. AT LEAST ON MY GOOD DAYS. <br>(three...two...one...liftoff)Allisonnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5791100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-16978160182145375352009-03-23T02:14:00.002-05:002009-03-23T02:20:13.838-05:00

Look! I am doing crazy things!Because Blogger is irrelevant.I like it so far. Quick, Dooey! How do I make it have comments? Without comments, it is useless to me. But oh, the built-in image hosting! The pretty and delightfully simple layouts! The archive importing!I have many exclamation points. This is what happens when you read Great Expectations all in one go. Fuck Victorian lit! Yes,

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-28886569944561710322009-03-22T03:09:00.012-05:002009-03-22T03:52:11.973-05:00

Okay, let's finish up the Worst Week Ever with a comprehensive recap.Wednesday: Got my notice of waitlisting at Illinois.Friday: Got notice of rejection to Iowa.Sunday: Stepped out of bedroom into hallway into lake. Four phone calls and a couple of days later, found out a pipe in the wall had rusted out. (Still living in a lake--thankfully, it's at least confined to the non-carpeted areas of my

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-27470464487573756952009-03-17T14:22:00.002-05:002009-03-17T14:24:54.387-05:00

Because my life is one big pile of awesome, somebody hit my car today. No significant damage other than the fact that they took off the driver's side mirror. The passenger's side would have been too convenient, as it's entirely legal to drive without that.Estimate? Over a hundred dollars. Keep in mind that the entire damn car blue-books at less than three hundred.Pfft. I give up.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-7525370245168759292009-03-14T04:10:00.003-05:002009-03-14T04:15:04.014-05:00

I didn't get into grad school.I didn't really think I'd get into University of Iowa, but the skinny little envelope with the mass-produced mailing label and the "We're downsizing our program due to the current budgetary crisis" bullshit make-you-feel-better attempt still don't feel good.I got wait-listed at Illinois State, but I refuse to get my hopes up.I don't really know what I did wrong.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-13103773337065667682009-03-01T12:49:00.005-06:002009-03-01T13:02:30.323-06:00

Happy: New MacBook. Ooh, shiny.Happy: New MacBook apparently fixes the thing where Blogger makes me log in twice.Not So Happy: Just sent in my "No, I'm not renewing my lease" letter. Who raises the rent in this economy? (Especially in a basement apartment with ever-increasing water damage and a dryer that's been broken for months and a back door with the glass knocked out.)Not So Happy: Don't

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-24626964252298733912009-02-25T21:59:00.004-06:002009-02-25T22:13:32.896-06:00

Bullwhorefuckshitballs. Come on. No way, no way is Hosea the Top Chef. And no, Bravo, I'm not buying the whole "sweet doofy Midwestern kid" bit--not when you gave Leah the temptress edit so that we'd still sympathize with Hosea (engaged guy and girl with a boyfriend--if cheating goes down, the engaged party is the one committing the greater sin). Screw Hosea. Stefan cooked circles around him

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-76560146844383112232009-02-19T01:36:00.003-06:002009-02-19T01:46:58.202-06:00

I am in mourning. Fabio Viviani, indisputably the best Top Chef cheftestant EVER, has been eliminated. My love for Fabio, you must understand, trumps even my adoration of Season 3's CJ. Fabio is gone, and Season 5 is officially much less interesting, and it will be a hard, hard slog forcing myself to care enough to watch the finale next week.I have decided I will root for Carla, not because I

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-34831655362971140202009-02-18T13:19:00.003-06:002009-02-18T13:22:57.120-06:00

I was flipping through the upper channels on my boyfriend's cable (I was hoping that maybe he got The N back so that I could watch Degrassi.) I had to pause on FitTV on a show that the cable box insists is called simply Legs and Glutes. So I sat there for a minute and watched the happy exercisey people do bicycle crunches and lunges while "Linger" played in the background. A weird, synth-y

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-74098073284200237502009-02-15T22:05:00.002-06:002009-02-15T22:11:18.191-06:00

He wanted to know "the deal with single women and babies."So I said, "Okay. You know when you're six? You're watching Saturday morning cartoons and a commercial break comes. You sit there on the couch--we're 21 now, so this is pre-Tivo, and you have to watch the commercials--and you watch, like, eight of them, and you're just fine. Still stationary. But then the ninth one comes, and suddenly

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-85225112698457444012009-02-03T11:28:00.000-06:002009-02-03T11:28:01.368-06:00

(See? I'm hep to the crazes.)It wasn't until after Jeff McInnis was eliminated from Top Chef that I finally, finally figured out who he reminded me of.Jeff McInnisLarry BirkheadCredit and credit.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-59392024485004721442009-02-02T23:54:00.000-06:002009-02-03T02:33:31.084-06:00

18th-century Georgia was a very small place, which explains why, upon poking around in my genealogical records, I was able to find a woman I am related to at least nine different ways.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-44900887627051481842009-01-26T02:00:00.003-06:002009-01-26T02:09:27.592-06:00

Okay. I give up, StumbleUpon, CNN, Digg, MSNBC, Reddit, etc.--all those services that think I should know about this. I'll admit it..........I don't know what Twitter is.Okay, I think I get the concept. You write things. Very short things. "Tweeting," I'm pretty sure. Mobile blogging or something. "I'm eating a sandwich." "Still eating a sandwich." "OMG Dan Abrams and Renee Zellweger are

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-91613978686895107792009-01-25T22:13:00.001-06:002009-01-25T22:15:16.534-06:00

Here. Anyway...She said, "I'm not happy. Ever. With anything. Nothing makes me happy, not even a little."And I wasn't sure how to respond, mostly because I had hoped that the suicide attempt might have driven the crazy out of her.Cue sigh.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-75184828507787354622009-01-23T10:22:00.002-06:002009-01-23T10:41:35.393-06:00

She pushed up her glasses and tugged at her organic-cotton tunic as she told us about her trip to India. He, apparently the breed known as Fidgety Hipster, waggled a Converse-clad foot and gave the appropriate "yeahs" and "mm-hmms." I didn't really know either of them, but I nodded along.So she gets to the part of the story where she gets introduced as a women's rights activist during a

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-37229336910805000072009-01-15T01:18:00.005-06:002009-01-15T01:39:45.253-06:00

1. Go to car. See parking ticket on windshield.2. Curse, get in car, tuck ticket in glovebox, turn key. Car doesn't start.3. Curse. Call boyfriend.4. Push car to end of block, attach tow rope, tow car into alley. Car gets stuck on way into parking space.5. Shovel out parking space. Push car in, car doesn't move. Call two more friends to come help. Get car into parking space.6. Attempt to

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-40737116016471102462009-01-12T02:44:00.003-06:002009-01-12T02:53:58.303-06:00

Guess what? I don't know how to do that nifty "after the jump" thing. A little Googling tells me it may not be possible on Blogger.So no, this post has absolutely no point other than to slowly bump those slow-loading videos down the page. Also to keep my grad school "personal statement" essay from burning itself into my retinas. Blah blah opportunity blah blah academia blah blah blah. So

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-37560122837791460112009-01-10T16:54:00.006-06:002009-01-12T02:44:31.019-06:00

I had so much fun poking around my iTunes for yesterday's list that I decided to do another, this time for 2007. I paid a lot more attention to music in 2007, mostly because I didn't spend four months of it doing the Death Laser Skull Space Alien Hell Semester. So, after mentally disqualifying M.I.A. since I cheated and stuck her on yesterday's list, I hunted iTunes and the Internet to compile

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-53576044484309648212009-01-09T14:21:00.003-06:002009-01-12T02:39:23.139-06:00

All right, I've decided to make a list of my ten favorite songs of 2008. It was tough--I've been out of the music loop more than usual this year (got a shiny new iPod in August), and as I attempted to compile the list I kept having to delete songs from 2007. But here's what I came up with for you:#10/Honorable Mention: "Paper Planes," M.I.A.Technically a 2007 song, but revived M.I.A.'s career

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-56313441356128638002008-12-23T12:23:00.002-06:002008-12-23T12:34:20.817-06:00

So I am done with the Worst Semester Ever and done being a whiny bitch about it. It's a relief, let me tell you. Next semester I have class two days a week--you really do have to love seminars.Right now, I'm focusing on doing absolutely nothing for as long as possible. I think I've lost all brain function.In a fit of religiosity (a terrible word, I know, but slightly more apt than

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-8437682031599417872008-12-08T18:17:00.004-06:002008-12-08T18:28:00.102-06:00

I am one week from finishing the semester from hell, and I still have 30+ pages to write.I am six months from graduating with a totally useless degree. I was in the middle of applying for grad school, but one of my letters-of-recommendation professors has decided not to write it. She doesn't think I'm ready to keep going. Her exact words were "bright but unfocused."Her advice? "Take a year

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-33022729690178267782008-11-26T23:57:00.000-06:002008-11-27T00:08:19.442-06:00

I really wanted to call you a douchenugget tonight, but I contented myself with just thinking it REALLY HARD.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-80467192326694117322008-11-13T21:55:00.003-06:002008-11-13T22:09:21.356-06:00

In real life, the only people I feel safe bragging to are my parents. It seems unfair to do it in front of my less-apt brother, my classmates, my friends, most of whom are not in college, or my boyfriend, who has recently begun to revise his hopes for a life in academia.So I send out to the vast void of cyberspace:First, my Modernism professor, one of the most intelligent and respected

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-79086099361311985442008-11-13T00:57:00.002-06:002008-11-13T01:12:58.237-06:00

Gasoline here has been at $1.95 for the past week. I hear oil prices dropped again, so it should be lower tomorrow. When you live in South Dakota and have a 20-minute commute, this is beautiful.I bought a pretty new coat and a pretty new scarf and pretty new mittens. The mittens unfold to reveal fingerless gloves underneath for iPod touch purposes. I got a pretty new iPod touch for $180 a

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-23441223418710662042008-11-08T21:38:00.003-06:002008-11-08T21:42:45.384-06:00

The word of the day is "swindle." As in, "Allison got swindled by a fast-talking Israeli and will forever after stay at least twenty feet away from mall kiosks."

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-47929706421758841332008-11-05T00:11:00.003-06:002008-11-05T00:15:32.150-06:00

I would just like to observe that every Democratic candidate whose hand I have shaken has become the President of the United States.I call it the Allison Bump.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-67764568477969747372008-11-04T02:14:00.000-06:002008-11-05T01:37:00.491-06:00

I know you guys probably sometimes think I don't exist due to my penchant for briefly getting the nerve to post a photograph and then taking it down two days later, but here is proof (at least for the forty-eight hours I can bear having my picture on this website):That's me. Angels want to wear my red shoes. A belated happy Halloween.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-83995863275866731342008-11-03T15:46:00.000-06:002008-11-03T15:47:57.413-06:00

I HAVE FIVE PAPERS AND A PRESENTATION DUE THIS WEEK.I HAVE HAD NO FEWER THAN THREE EXAMS/PAPERS/PRESENTATIONS EVERY WEEK FOR THE PAST MONTH.I AM TYPING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I AM GOING TO DIE.the end.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-31762525236458653292008-10-28T16:27:00.005-05:002008-10-28T16:41:16.518-05:00

I'm pretty tolerant of general living noise, even though my new upstairs neighbors' general living noise seems to consist of a horrifyingly yappy dog on meth with Superballs for pawpads and a horde of elephants that stomp around all day long, presumably in search of Arthur and Celeste. They're very stompy people.But they're nice enough, and they don't park in my space, so I ignore it.Until they

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-5175895996490614272008-10-24T00:41:00.002-05:002008-10-24T00:42:43.897-05:00

So because South Dakota is totally awesome, it snowed for about four hours yesterday.It had all melted by this morning, but still.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-90451109312035917072008-10-13T17:35:00.002-05:002008-10-13T17:47:11.968-05:00

Sorry, sorry.This semester is absolutely hellish. I have six classes: Global Environmental Change, Women and Politics, poetry, Spanish Oral Conversation 2, creative writing, and Modernism. I hate them all. Fun, hm? Modernism isn't so bad; it's just a lot of work, and we haven't gotten a syllabus yet so I'm terrified to see when the paper(s?) will be due.At any rate, I have never had this much

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-78082704786661019452008-09-07T13:26:00.000-05:002008-09-07T13:26:00.252-05:00

He told me he was bisexual. I think he thought I'd be shocked, but I just licked the stray parmesan from my fingers and replied, "Dude, pick a hole."

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-22408751342897338432008-09-07T01:15:00.002-05:002008-09-07T01:22:22.496-05:00

"Whaddaya think of McCain's vice pick?"I started to answer, but another guy interrupted."Smartest thing he coulda done, that's what it is.""Really?" I asked. "Why?"He couldn't come up with an answer, so I supplied it."Oh, I know. The vagina."And it was bitchy, I know, but I'm so damn tired of talking about this.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-77026459925248249702008-09-05T19:43:00.000-05:002008-09-05T19:43:00.290-05:00

I had to admit to her that this was really comfortable, though I was a bit ashamed at the price she paid for it, considering its name sounds like a really cheesy euphemism for a scrotum.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-5390743891436010622008-09-04T23:55:00.001-05:002008-09-04T23:55:00.942-05:00

Cannot. Stop. Listening.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-20093701203315990702008-09-02T00:13:00.000-05:002008-09-02T00:15:57.644-05:00

People go extinct. Isn't that odd? The link will take you to the Wikipedia page on Tasmanian Aborigines, an indigenous population that went extinct with the death of the last full-blooded woman in 1876. There are "no meaningful cultural practice[s]" by which to remember them. It only took 73 years to kill them off.Around here, I guess, though, we have the Mandan. The last full-blooded Mandan

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-29093318588475282942008-09-01T22:10:00.004-05:002008-09-02T00:19:18.169-05:00

How massively selfish can you be? 1. She's very pro-life and very vocal about it. Fine. ("After all, her baby has Down syndrome, and she didn't abort him!" Why do we assume that that has anything to do with pro-life/pro-choice? Concluding that disabled people are still people--why are we all pretending that this makes you noble?)2. She's an evangelical Christian and very vocal about it.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-3392747537146659852008-09-01T12:36:00.002-05:002008-09-01T12:43:53.858-05:00

Dark party bars, shiny Cadillac cars, and the people on subways and trains looking grey in the rain as they stand disarrayed.Oh, but people look well in the dark.She's glamourous and exciting and probably unhappy, sure, but I still envy her.(She was a high school friend who lives the life I wish I did, but am too afraid/broke/attached/dutiful to try.)I hadn't realized how much I missed her until

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-51243486334041424922008-08-30T12:27:00.001-05:002008-08-30T12:30:14.743-05:00

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-58560274841810951282008-08-29T12:44:00.004-05:002008-08-29T12:54:41.076-05:00

What a surprise--John McCain attached himself to a much younger former beauty queen. That has never happened before. He doesn't have a reputation for latching onto attractive women or anything. And yes, it's a cheap shot, but what happens if she gets ugly before November? Does he switch veep candidates?

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-61376746839585186962008-08-09T14:21:00.002-05:002008-08-09T14:24:35.477-05:00

I swear I'm alive, just very, very busy.Here's some brief keywords from the last month or so: work work work, GRE, learned to play guitar, knit knit, The Dark Knight, fridge broke, cranky landlord, work work, turned 21, yay birthday, locked keys in car, sleep late, more work, read books, BROKE MY TOE, $125 tip.It's funny; whenever I have time to post, I'm all uninspired and incomprehensible.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-18573888518304502972008-07-13T01:42:00.001-05:002008-07-13T01:42:22.977-05:00

Hello, wonderfuls. I am not dead, just working working working, and enjoying the summer and the outdoors in my off-time. I'm in one of those modes where I can't write at all, so I'll just skip to the good part. Marceline, Missouri, boyhood home of Walt Disney. Here's the museum:De Soto, Missouri. Sunset over Wal-Mart parking lot.Richwoods, Missouri. Claims to have the grave of Touissant

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-13950722600638109222008-06-30T22:27:00.000-05:002008-06-30T22:27:09.897-05:00

Whenever I get out my knitting needles, Zoe instantly goes into homicidal psycho jungle cat mode.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-38847935705705611422008-06-27T22:51:00.003-05:002008-06-30T22:17:25.769-05:00

A table shorted me! Gaah! Told me to split the check three ways, then paid for it all together by leaving a hundred bucks on the table and walking out. Never mind that the bills combined equaled $108.Could have been worse, yes, but what the hell? I must express my rage...where are a watermelon and a croquet mallet when you need them?

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-8512329362911302452008-06-26T21:53:00.008-05:002008-11-05T01:49:14.166-06:00

Dear Apple,iPhoto sucks.Love, Allison...Dear Photobucket,You also suck.Love, Allison...I write this after moving and renaming all the jpegs of my trip. The new names and location make uploading them much easier. However, iPhoto cannot find them now, so this makes actually using them difficult, unless you want a bunch of giant sideways pictures. (Disclaimer: the terrible storage for iPhoto may

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-58754058018821021712008-06-26T17:56:00.005-05:002008-06-30T22:18:01.744-05:00

I have recently become obsessed with the linguistic evolution of the phrase "trying to." It's become "trine.""I'm trine find my phone." "Are you trine get in touch with her?" "He's trine save up some money so he can go back to school."Is this a northern Midwest thing, or have you noticed it too?

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-20614941954680520532008-06-23T15:39:00.004-05:002008-06-30T22:20:58.536-05:00

While in Missouri, my mom decided she wanted to go to the St. Louis Zoo. To me, that meant one thing: elephants. We hadn't been in years, since the first and last time we had gone previously had been on a 140˚ day with a humidity of approximately 6000%. I remember being completely confused as to why the hyenas and rhinoceroses--WAIT. I need to establish that I had to check the dictionary on

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-90493521868402872352008-06-22T19:27:00.003-05:002008-06-30T22:19:14.291-05:00

I'm home.I have pictures, but no camera cord. Isn't it funny how these things work?Now, I do have one major point that I have been aching to write about since I got back. When I was in high school, I seriously considered going to Washington University at St. Louis. I read all the literature, checked out the website, researched scholarships, and even toured the campus. I eventually decided

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-43070701607894832932008-06-18T23:04:00.002-05:002008-06-30T22:18:54.866-05:00

I WANT.I am too lazy to Google extensively right now, so I have no idea what it is or where it came from. StumbleUpon and I have had a mad love affair for the past few months, and it gives me spectacular pictures with no data sometimes. I saved this one awhile ago. I recently came across it again when it randomly popped up as my background picture. If anyone figures out where it came from,

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-67978567939092234972008-06-17T14:42:00.002-05:002008-06-30T22:20:47.419-05:00

Eee! The video mania continues. I die!glumbert - Otters hold hands

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-70082099784361202332008-06-13T10:52:00.001-05:002008-06-30T22:21:21.154-05:00

One of the great annoyances of my life is that Blogger always makes me log in twice. It's like it doesn't believe me on the first try or something.Note to self: according to the first sentence, I have a pretty good life.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-56702041811007361562008-06-12T12:14:00.001-05:002008-06-30T22:21:40.857-05:00

I have a love-hate relationship with this video. My boyfriend has a strictly hate relationship with it, since he came home a couple of months ago to three college girls sitting on his couch sobbing hysterically and babbling about dogs.I'll share it with you now that I'm thinking of it, but be warned that it pretty much makes me want to cut myself.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-65418400611023778992008-06-11T11:21:00.002-05:002008-06-30T22:21:58.891-05:00

Control Option Command 8.Hee!

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-56256122321651809022008-06-11T02:16:00.007-05:002008-06-30T22:22:55.696-05:00

For a long time, the only thing keeping me from a subscription to Bust has been my steadfast refusal to consider myself a feminist.I don't know quite how to explain it. I worked on a pro-choice campaign (yeah, yeah, stereotype, but that's my point--read on). I believe strongly in equal pay for equal work. I bristle at the thought of only 16 (16!) female Senators in this country. My boyfriend

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-83024494189090333372008-06-10T13:46:00.006-05:002008-06-30T22:34:39.272-05:00

Ok, I woke up early yesterday and switched on Encore to watch Death Becomes Her. And I had a thought. A scary thought. But an entertaining one.Meryl Streep:Paris Hilton:Yes? No? Am I crazy?(Images from Virtual History: Film and Hella Bella).

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-39374189330450431092008-06-07T13:29:00.004-05:002008-06-30T22:23:28.957-05:00

On Main Street, there's a printing company called "Intsy Prints." No big deal. Rhyming is catchy, and it calls to mind "itsy," which I guess emphasizes the clarity of their printing (and hopefully not just an insistence on only printing on postage-stamp-sized paper). Today I drove past it, and I found myself momentarily confused by the realization that it's not Intsy Prints, it's Insty Prints.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-28969956216215830882008-06-05T13:22:00.002-05:002008-06-30T22:23:55.968-05:00

So...I was catching up on my blog links, and I came across the following post at Lyrical Munchies (formerly Munchies for the Addiction, which I must now change on my sidebar):"The ability to order pizza online has got to be one of the greatest things that has come out of the invention of the Internet. You choose your pizza, add toppings, throw in some bread sticks and drinks, and pay for

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-78503219011370686932008-06-04T14:59:00.004-05:002008-06-30T22:24:17.571-05:00

There's this disease I call lastnotitis. It's highly contagious, and generally begins with one person loudly muttering (can you loudly mutter?) "Fuck!" As the disease spreads, everyone else in the room simultaneously groans and doubles over while biting their lip. If you didn't get the title, lastnotitis proliferates when somebody's playing Guitar Hero and they miss the very last note of the

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-52200426725311294302008-05-26T15:47:00.002-05:002008-06-30T22:24:31.208-05:00

A few days ago I was napping on the couch. Bob, as usual, had snuggled up in my arms, and after I woke up, I spent a few minutes lying there and petting him. Zooey crawled up with us, and she did something odd: she got right up on top of Bob. Now, she's tiny, so her two little paws on his big old back couldn't have weighed much, but I was still shocked that Bob didn't seem to mind, didn't

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-12161407631394360432008-05-25T02:00:00.002-05:002008-06-30T22:25:02.687-05:00

Among the things I would like NOT to do at the next wedding I go to:1. Go stag.2. Sit next to a ridiculously beautiful girl the ushers keep hitting on.3. Have my phone ring during the middle of the vows. (I would SWEAR I turned it off. I know I tried to turn it off. I suck. At least it wasn't loud.)4. The awkward small talk with a bunch of people I barely know.5. Feel out of place.6. Pictures.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-16642085052608633882008-05-11T18:51:00.003-05:002008-06-30T22:25:18.630-05:00

I forgot to mention that I have reincarnated myself, again, as a waitress, this time at a steakhouse. We'll see how it goes.Right now I'm two days into a twelve-day extravaganza of work, so I may not have the energy to write. My shitty neighbors moved out yesterday, heavens be praised, but they also took my stolen wireless connection with them, so privacy and Internet access will not present

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-350626489248708572008-05-08T20:28:00.001-05:002008-06-30T22:25:32.885-05:00

I am printing and framing these instead of studying for my remaining finals.Her eye makeup is questionable at times, but I hope desperately that my father loves me that much.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-20273472355556522982008-04-26T11:06:00.003-05:002008-06-30T22:25:50.957-05:00

Ten inches.I have no curse words strong enough.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-84955265323496285552008-04-25T15:19:00.003-05:002008-06-30T22:26:04.931-05:00

It's snowing. Again. As in "four inches on the ground still coming down like a bitch" snowing.Of all the places my parents could have moved after Mom graduated college, why South Dakota? Why a place where we have whiteout conditions in town on April 25? Bah.On the bright side, I enjoy watching Hummers think they're almighty and above winter driving conditions--only to spin out in the middle

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-38426577826737378352008-04-18T02:07:00.001-05:002008-06-30T22:17:11.461-05:00

I must confess that I feel terribly accomplished when my socks match my underwear.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-1401264698494534252008-04-17T01:10:00.001-05:002008-06-30T22:26:26.748-05:00

1. What is my best friend's theme song?Attagirl - Bettie Serveert. "Don't get stuck somewhere in the middle. You paid all your dues, and you're not on second fiddle. Don't say luck is something like a riddle. You paid for your place in this world--attagirl!"2. College is...One Foot in Front of the Other - Bright Eyes. "I'm drinking the ink from my pen, and I'm balancing history books up on my

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-51665682133907903522008-04-12T17:17:00.003-05:002008-06-30T22:16:46.538-05:00

Tip: When dressing for formal events in the winter, always wear tights. Under skirts, they will keep you warm. Under pants, well, it's a hell of a lot easier than trying to find a pair of matching socks.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-34872731578267170422008-04-08T00:56:00.005-05:002008-06-30T22:27:27.354-05:00

I felt like a complete ass the day I realized that, for my entire life, I've been saying "basalmic." I stood in the aisle, staring at a glass bottle of dressing, knowing that I have been able to correctly spell this word for years. Yet I've been saying "basalmic."As an ex-waitress, childhood spelling bee champ, and a self-confessed Grammar Bitch, I was ashamed of myself.Then I remembered that "

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-34454358914567426022008-04-03T21:55:00.004-05:002008-06-30T22:27:47.346-05:00

Over Easter, I opened up one of my uncle's photo albums and suddenly, shockingly, found myself staring at a dead woman. He had taken photographs of his aunt's body at her funeral. Like Nicole Kidman in The Others, I thought this was incredibly eerie and odd.In that vein, I think I understood how he felt about those photographs when I found this exhibition. It's a collection of photographs of

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-80190652225530441842008-03-31T18:00:00.003-05:002008-06-30T22:28:14.273-05:00

Sorry to disappoint all you dirty hippies, but burning patchouli incense makes it smell like a prostitute died in your living room.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-31508483339348502712008-03-30T17:36:00.011-05:002008-06-30T22:28:35.757-05:00

I knew I had found a kindred when she sheepishly confessed, "I once let my dishes pile up so badly that I ran out of dishes entirely, and I had to wash them in the bathtub." I was thinking of that today while I scrubbed my plates and bowls, beautiful blue glass plates and bowls and cafe mugs. I bought the set when I had mononucleosis and I realized I had what Steve Martin calls "college-girl

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-87329185548487659502008-03-29T21:20:00.001-05:002008-06-30T22:28:52.829-05:00

Hmm...I never learned to play guitar because my handedness made it seem like too much work. I'm right-handed, but I play guitar left-handed (also Guitar Hero). I once tried to play my grandmother's guitar as a child. I could never make it work quite right, and finally somebody asked me why I was playing it upside-down. I recently came into possession of a cheap guitar again, but I couldn't

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-65567089600813458702008-03-28T22:13:00.007-05:002008-06-30T22:30:01.940-05:00

I once read somewhere that Oasis always uses "moon/June/spoon" rhymes. I heard "Don't Look Back in Anger" today, which is such a beautiful song, but that niggling thought has ruined their entire catalog for me....Somebody called me looking for Roy, and I said I didn't know anyone by that name. The person responded angrily with "Who is this?" I wanted to say, "This is a girl who likes her

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-32179342510833208272008-03-26T19:26:00.003-05:002008-06-30T22:29:43.889-05:00

I have a secret:I absolutely detest watching comedies with other people.I guess it's okay if neither of you have seen the movie before, but if your friend has, he'll spend the whole film chuckling and quickly glancing over at you all, "Is she laughing? Is she enjoying this? Why isn't she laughing? Does it suck? I thought she liked MST3K. Ooh, hey, heh. Wait, did she laugh at that?" And

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-52005334142568789002008-03-19T12:08:00.004-05:002008-06-30T22:30:30.781-05:00

The other day, in a fit of "Oh god I quit my job," I drove to the nearest city with a Mac store and bought The Sims 2: Bon Voyage. It is helping me get through the freakouts; when I get overwhelmed by the jobness and moneyness and tiredness and jadedness, I turn on the iBook and occupy my thoughts with buying a vacation home in the tropics for Dustin and Angela Broke.Anyway, on Interstate 29

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-74477636720052378972008-03-16T20:52:00.002-05:002008-06-30T22:30:53.686-05:00

Yesterday was my workbirthday, or my workhalfbirthday, to be more specific. I've now spent three and a half years working at Corporate Pizza Joint.And yesterday I quit.I am the awesome.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-11319687988015032462008-03-05T18:24:00.003-06:002008-06-30T22:31:19.479-05:00

Something compels me to pick up little scraps wherever I go, little glimpses into the minds of other people: dropped grocery lists, discarded exams, misplaced photographs, forgotten fortune cookie fortunes. I take them home and put them in a box in my bedroom; I like to think that whoever the owner is, wherever they go, whatever they do, however long they remain in this world, they existed. I

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-18496347040712890322008-02-27T01:26:00.005-06:002008-06-30T22:31:53.002-05:00

"I only vaguely remember the movie. It really sucked, but come to think of it, the pinball machine was awesome. And there are a lot of good movies that had shitty pinball machines.""The worse the movie, the better the pinball machine?""Pretty much."[a beat] "I officially love America. America makes sentences like that possible."

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-29537318287266650022008-02-09T20:44:00.001-06:002008-06-30T22:32:18.060-05:00

I admit that, while I have an intense interest in fashion and love looking through the collections shown at various Fashion Weeks, I don't dress particularly well. I'm a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl. So I keep my fashion interests pretty much to myself, well aware of the whole idea of practicing what one preaches. A guy friend of mine, however, recently triggered an intense outburst of my

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-19352286361054814482008-02-06T20:30:00.001-06:002008-06-30T22:32:36.932-05:00

I know everyone has already seen this, but I still think it's great:And for the worst, I link you to the single most hideous fashion show ever to grace the planet. Seriously. Think that pair of patterned tights is disgustingly awful? Just wait, because they'll use it in the next six looks! And then, just when you think it's over, the six models after that will all be wearing the NEXT pair of

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-88018969621678602692008-01-20T02:19:00.002-06:002008-06-30T22:33:00.192-05:00

For anyone who's keeping track, I'm pretty much better. I still take a minimum of one two-hour nap every day, and I'm technically not supposed to work until next week, and I'm only supposed to work short shifts for the rest of the month. Ha. I laugh in the face of mononucleosis. But not in the face of my wallet, that's for damn sure. I closed tonight, which was a bad idea, but I made it

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-54147197417985241772008-01-19T00:55:00.001-06:002008-06-30T22:33:19.573-05:00

"John Doe?" she asked."Here," he said. "But I go by Invictus."...He was dead serious.I swear I am not making this up.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-89610625385379678802008-01-16T00:58:00.002-06:002008-06-30T22:33:44.515-05:00

It seems that Joe and I have had this conversation three or four times, and we inevitably reach the same conclusion.If men (A) and women (B) switched bodies for a day, what would that day be like?Answer A: Men would need two days. They would spend the entire first day naked with strategically placed mirrors. Also probably a mini-trampoline. On the second day, I suspect they would spend most of

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-15219375770258223532008-01-11T20:43:00.001-06:002008-06-30T22:34:01.818-05:00

You never appreciate your tonsils until they swell to the size of basketballs and scream, "Hey! Hey! REMEMBER US?"Day 14 of the Mystery Illness finds it no longer a mystery. Actually, Day 11 did that. On Day 11, your ailing host decided to get a second opinion at a different clinic and was diagnosed with mononucleosis. (Note to Dr. Kangaroo: Told you so.) Day 14 marked a rapid decline in

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-24993778855077601482008-01-06T17:28:00.001-06:002008-06-30T22:34:23.898-05:00

Lazy Sunday, woke up in the late afternoon, called Mr. Allison just to see how he's doin'...etc.Yesterday my fever peaked at 102 degrees, and today I threw up, so I called in sick to work. This was an excellent decision, as it has allowed me to instead lie on my couch and watch old episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A day can be truly classified as lazy when the highlight of it is pausing an

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-49862171733511595282008-01-05T13:50:00.001-06:002008-06-30T22:35:02.782-05:00

Yesterday was Day 7 of the Mystery Illness, and I finally went to the doctor. My old doctor retired, so I told them I didn't care who they gave me. Anyway, they assigned me a doctor--we'll call him Dr. Kangaroo. He seemed very nice, but this is roughly what my doctor visit looked like:Allison: Hi, I've got all the symptoms of mono.Dr. Kangaroo: Hm. So you're sick, you say?Allison: Oh, also,

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-42900653090528285782008-01-02T14:43:00.000-06:002008-01-02T14:57:45.223-06:00

I've been fiendishly sick for the last few days--sore throat, achy arms and legs, swollen lymph nodes, godawful back pain, low-grade fever, chills, lightheadedness, dizziness, loss of appetite, persistent headache, and crazy crazy fatigue. It's a fun time, let me assure you. I'm now on Day 5 of what I assume is a terrible flu, and the prognosis for the future doesn't look good.Also not good are

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-29439778082855222102007-12-18T20:43:00.000-06:002007-12-18T20:46:40.814-06:00

Re: the title. When I was little, my father called roast beef "roast beast" for years, and I was probably five or six before I realized that wasn't really what it was called. I was even older before I realized why he called it that.Anyway, I was reading this Slate article on Christmas movies when I came across this quip by Emily Bazelon, which may just rank as the greatest childhood memory of

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-84518006363212232972007-12-13T23:17:00.000-06:002007-12-13T23:19:19.035-06:00

Person you haven't thought about in a long time:Dido.Especially in a non-Eminem context. I heard "White Flag" on the radio yesterday, and it was surreal. She was a good listen for a mellow kind of mood, kind of Aimee Mann-ish. I always liked "Hunter."

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-7338122120750350582007-12-11T00:01:00.000-06:002007-12-11T00:12:35.707-06:00

I spend my days in a whirr of "last week of classes" mania, soon to be replaced by the "finals week" variety. In my spare time, though, I think about Christmas. I have this weird masochistic side that unabashedly loves Christmas shopping. More than that, though, I adore the music, the still-white snow, the smells...all that good sentimental stuff.Hmm...in a materialistic vein, this is where I

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-51409311001619635902007-12-06T12:05:00.001-06:002007-12-06T12:06:29.010-06:00

Thing you haven't thought about in a long time:Space Jam.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-43827644829952612312007-12-01T22:32:00.000-06:002007-12-01T23:38:31.939-06:00

Living in South Dakota means that one event comes like clockwork every year: the storm that heralds the beginning of the six-month winter. That day came today. I checked the radar at Weather.com at about noon today, and I discovered that South Dakota was in the middle of a Great White Splotch.I knew the Great White Splotch was coming, and last night I arrived home at 3 in the morning, pulling

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-18588766579564584672007-11-26T00:32:00.000-06:002007-11-26T00:35:50.290-06:00

This is the image that was distributed to help identify the body found in the Baby Grace case. Who hired the guy that does "If They Mated" to make police sketches?

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-72357328666525645872007-11-17T16:28:00.000-06:002007-11-17T17:03:30.984-06:00

I have decided that the primary reason Blogger exists is so that underpaid waitresses can bitch about their jobs.Namely, last night I waited on a friendly acquaintance from a former job (hint: she's a waitress). So Former Coworker shows up with her new boyfriend, whom curiosity dictated I had to meet. Her old boyfriend was the sweetest creature on the planet, and everyone who knew them couldn't

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-52088595769885249662007-11-16T13:12:00.000-06:002007-11-16T13:13:26.317-06:00

Saxo is CHEWING ON MY HEAD. RIGHT NOW.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-5726798591573205702007-11-16T12:43:00.000-06:002007-11-16T12:53:29.270-06:00

Fact that Proves I Live in South Dakota #2132:I was pulling out of my boyfriend's driveway yesterday, in the middle of a city of 20,000, and I paused before shifting into drive so that I could watch a tumbleweed roll through the yard.Which brings us to #2133:Said tumbleweed is now in Joe's spare room, where Saxo uses it as his new favorite cat toy....We're goddamned hicks.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-68377957330679544942007-11-13T10:56:00.000-06:002007-12-01T23:26:32.967-06:00

Of all theinfuriating yet slightly endearing habits Zowie Bowie has, no doubt the worst is this: she follows me when I clean.Bob knows well enough to stay the hell out of my way when I perform my least favorite task. He has the fear of Dearest Most Wonderful Mother Supreme in his whirring feline heart, and he loves me too much to ever intentionally misbehave. He knows better than to be present

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-49927263170178550512007-11-08T17:57:00.000-06:002007-11-08T17:58:09.427-06:00

Lou Dobbs is a total blowhard.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-32094931382933718182007-11-04T16:53:00.000-06:002007-11-04T16:55:41.723-06:00

I braked sharply in the business district as a jackrabbit darted across five lanes of traffic. As it bounded onto a front lawn, I realized that I had done this exact thing before. I concluded that yes, I still live in South Dakota.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-81034640641270350762007-10-22T14:40:00.000-05:002007-10-22T14:52:40.930-05:00

If my teacher ed courses are teaching me anything (which is doubtful), it's that my teachers were all idiots. Did they really willingly go through the hell of teacher education so that they could take home $24,000 a year?Today one of my professors sprang a stupidly massive assignment on us. Specifically, a 25-minute presentation. Due in just over a week. Please remember that this is midterm

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009208.post-84750637965514196012007-10-16T11:30:00.000-05:002007-10-16T11:31:25.607-05:00

When you haven't been home in a few days and you have two white cats who shed like it's a competition, the general effect is as if a cloud threw up in your living room.

Allisonnoreply@blogger.com1